WEBVTT 00:00:00.458 --> 00:00:04.458 on a personal level? On a personal level that you were an alien. 00:00:04.458 --> 00:00:09.667 my case it's evolving and I'm noticing different 00:00:09.667 --> 00:00:14.250 living with someone who I'm trying to understand 00:00:14.250 --> 00:00:17.542 you're a challenges seeker 00:00:17.542 --> 00:00:20.333 I see the gradient and it's beautiful, 00:00:20.333 --> 00:00:25.083 Yes. Okay, yeah so that's different. 00:00:25.083 --> 00:00:30.125 (Music) [On-screen title: Conversations with Mr & Mrs Marciano] 00:00:30.125 --> 00:00:44.833 Welcome to conversations with Mr. and Mrs. Marciano where we talk about life, creative work and everything we are figuring out together. 00:00:46.042 --> 00:00:55.792 We've been a couple for more than a decade and somehow there are still things we keep discovering about each other. 00:00:58.250 --> 00:01:23.333 Let me ask you, what did you think about me at the beginning? Maybe not the first time we met because it was through music and it was on a professional level, but let's say what did you think about me when you started to know me on a personal level? On a personal level that you were an alien. 00:01:23.333 --> 00:01:32.250 I was pretty clear about that and I still think you are an alien. There's a real joke in our last name, but it means alien. 00:01:33.667 --> 00:01:48.042 Marciano is an alien in Spanish. But I don't mean the last name. I mean you were entirely different than anyone else I've ever met in my life. 00:01:49.708 --> 00:01:59.042 I was surprised that there could be someone like you are. 00:02:00.542 --> 00:02:04.000 I have the feeling still. 00:02:05.208 --> 00:02:18.625 I used to live with you, however, I never met like it doesn't matter how many years I do live in this world. I never met anyone like you are. 00:02:22.167 --> 00:02:27.125 Someone who's just pure being for me. 00:02:30.167 --> 00:02:54.542 That's lovely. Is there, since I have to say that we are different personalities and different in many ways, what is one thing that you're still curious to fully understand? 00:03:00.208 --> 00:03:01.792 Curious to understand. 00:03:03.417 --> 00:05:40.458 I would rephrase it a bit. I would love to see at least for once in my life through your eyes. Like what I've learned during our relationship is that there's nothing we could see, hear, taste, smell like the same way, as you are super detail oriented. I'm the high level guy like the strategic one. If I'm going to the detail I'm focus on the detail, it's everything at that moment. The point is that for me it's like living with someone who I'm trying to understand and I can learn like your motivation, your traumas. I can learn everything about you like your background, but just to know that I never see the world same like you are. It's somehow scary, somehow sad, somehow interesting for me like still. I'll give you the example like two months ago or whatever. I was preparing just a quick lunch during the day like pasta genovese, means we had the green basil pesto like making the pesto and we had the fresh basil and I just like put all the ingredients to the blender and afterwards I was like tasting if it's a proper taste and whatever and at one moment I just was like this is perfect. All ingredients all the flavors got together to the point that when I said to myself it's perfect. I love it. This is what I want to give you for the lunch and at the moment I stopped and I was like yeah but what if she has no idea how it tastes? 00:05:43.958 --> 00:06:10.083 What if she tastes just pecorino romano, the basil, the garlic like separately? At that moment it was like okay if I just put anything together and I want to play with like the weights to make the final taste or the flavor... 00:06:12.167 --> 00:06:35.167 Now I'm thinking if it's a waste of time. No, no I have to say that I love everything you prepare for me, everything you cook is just amazing and I'm pretty sure that we taste like we... no, I would say that we may taste the same thing, we just experience it differently. 00:06:36.708 --> 00:07:14.792 When you take a bite is for you the taste the same? Like through the process of chewing before you swallow it is it like one taste. Yes. Always. Yes. Okay, yeah so that's different. In my case it's evolving and I'm noticing different ingredients in it. It's never like one line of taste. So you taste it separately? Like this is basil, this is the cheese? But it tastes good, I mean it's really good, I like it. 00:07:16.083 --> 00:07:21.292 But yeah I guess that the process of tasting is different for me. 00:07:22.625 --> 00:07:32.583 That reminds me what I used to say sometimes and it's like I'm really scared one day you could see as I do see and see my whole face. Like 00:07:34.792 --> 00:08:03.958 My understanding is that if you look at me you see plenty of details like a mosaic or... It's not mosaic but it's pretty much like wherever I look I see where I look, I see the detail, now I see your eye, now I see your left eye, now I see your mouth. So it depends on where I look. But you never see the whole picture? No, probably not. 00:08:05.417 --> 00:08:06.042 Lucky me. 00:08:08.125 --> 00:08:15.875 Yeah like I never see the forest, I see the trees. I don't think you see the trees, I think you see the pine seeds. 00:08:17.667 --> 00:08:29.250 I see Blue Ridge mountains, if you're gonna imagine the picture of Blue Ridge mountains, it's just like the color, the mass, some kind of gradient and that's it. 00:08:30.833 --> 00:09:02.208 And if I want to be focused on something I really need to put attention and afterwards I can see the same pine seed like you are. At the moment I don't see anything else, so it's the whole picture. Mm-hmm. There's nothing else but it's really specific like normally for me it's okay, I see the gradient and it's beautiful, I'm enjoying the gradient. I would like to continue. Okay. 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:12.292 Because sometimes we did have and we still do have an argument. 00:09:13.625 --> 00:09:17.875 We live together 24-7, we work together. 00:09:19.375 --> 00:09:21.208 So the question is, 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:32.167 did you regret any time that you got married with me? 00:09:35.875 --> 00:09:40.458 No, no I didn't. I have not regretted. 00:09:42.583 --> 00:09:52.042 I think that I took enough time for me at the beginning to be sure. 00:09:53.417 --> 00:10:13.833 And I knew that the life with you won't be easy. In a way that you're challenges seeker basically, 00:10:15.542 --> 00:10:46.292 in terms of experiencing new things, in terms of travel, in terms of the moving from one country to another, I didn't know that we're going to move from Spain to Canada. But I knew that these kind of challenges I'm going to face with you. I just I knew that it would not be a simple life in this way. 00:10:48.500 --> 00:10:58.042 And I wanted to be sure that it would not be too much to handle. 00:10:59.625 --> 00:11:07.167 And you were the first person who actually believed in me in terms of like, 00:11:08.208 --> 00:11:30.042 even now when I'm not sure if I can make this, if you always came and be like, of course you're going to make it. Like why shouldn't you know? Yeah, but at the beginning I was like, I need to think through this to make sure that this is the life I'm gonna and I wanna live. 00:11:31.375 --> 00:12:40.000 Do you remember the first evening when we spoke to each other when we met? The first first meeting? Very, very first. Like we mentioned it was due to music and we spoke there it was a beautiful sunset. And I saw the sun in your eyes and I was like, those are really beautiful eyes. And you were talking about, hey my life plans, I have like real life plans, I want to have three kids until I'm 25. And I was like, back then I was, okay, it's really nice. It's really nice for anyone else than me. Like nothing I love kids. But I think there's some kind of journey ahead. And it's a different kind of journey than to having three kids, a house, a dog, a white fence and the American dream, let's say, and a mortgage and so. 00:12:41.167 --> 00:12:49.958 So I remember I was thinking like, yeah, it's really nice. We have beautiful eyes. It has nothing to do with me. We never can be together. 00:12:53.542 --> 00:13:01.542 So I really admire you as a musician, as a fiddler, as someone who's capable to provide 00:13:02.583 --> 00:13:09.500 an honest, perfect feedback to my music. I would love to work with you. 00:13:12.833 --> 00:13:51.875 Because I don't need people like just saying, yeah, you do a great job. And when you're totally messing up and you know you're messing up, that's the point. I knew there's something wrong. I needed to find a way how to improve my music, how to improve myself actually, how to maybe slow down. The fact is that if you have ADHD, you are aware of this since childhood, that's fine. But you are not thinking about it on a daily basis, right? So it was one of the greatest acknowledgement in my life is, hey, my music sucks. 00:13:53.417 --> 00:15:07.125 Because it's been affected. Yeah, definitely. And since then, I started to work cautiously on a way how to slow down my internal pace, how to actually get aligned with some kind of rim that makes sense actually, that creates some space for any singing, to be very honest. Because if you are, you cannot sing actually. And I don't do rap. So that's the only way when you can be ADHD and totally fine I guess like, but I'm not, Eminem, right? And yeah, so that was a huge acknowledgement for me. Where we started? what was the question? Yeah, the first day. So it was like, okay, she's beautiful. She's talented. I really admire her opinion. But there's no way we could like end up together. Well, there were like, 00:15:11.125 --> 00:15:18.125 I think that deep inside, when we started to know each other, we knew there is something, 00:15:19.583 --> 00:15:53.667 like, some kind of connection, like, in terms of our souls and values, like, there was something that we know, we knew that we are very aligned with. And then the upper layers of personalities and the future life, or I don't know, like all other aspects above, they were just in..., maybe not contrary, completely, but definitely different. And 00:15:54.875 --> 00:18:28.000 but I think at the end of the day, if you have the core, the same, like if you're built inside the same way, it can work. Yeah. But it still needs some kind of effort. Like even if we know what the trigger is of each other, and the fact is that we have the bad luck, speaking of our triggers, right? My trigger is... There's one thing from some kind of background or childhood, whatever that triggers you and the same on your side. The great it we are aware of that and we know how to work with that but it doesn't mean that it's disappearing, it's still there. So and I'm afraid it will be there for the rest of our lives. Actually, maybe not maybe as we get older. Yeah, I mean, I wanted to say that even though you meet your soulmate, if I can, I can say it this way. It still means plenty of work. Like even if you're soulmate, it doesn't mean that it's automatic to be happy together. The gift is to meet someone who might be your soulmate. It's a gift. Yeah. But it doesn't mean that the life, at least in our case, it's easy all the time in a relationship. Not at all. I remember the first when I first like really felt we together. Yeah, it was like we went from the busking. Yeah. On an avenue, and one moment it was crystal clear that we are together. No words said. Yeah, nothing has been have been said. Yeah. And I would never expect the feeling like I really met someone who's my soulmate. But I didn't expect how much effort will take to settle up. Right. How much we need to learn about each other actually. How deep. Yeah, we had to go and we still going like, yeah, we are over a decade together. Still married. The point is 00:18:30.417 --> 00:19:41.417 I never been honest so much with anyone else. I think that this is- Like, you were honest, but not so transparent maybe about everything not too open. Not open to the level I'm open with you. Yeah. Because if we... maybe it makes sense, actually, like if you want to make one soul from two or one person like something like the real we, not like we are sitting together. So means we are. It's not like that. It's like we like, we are, we don't see the same way the world. We don't feel the same way the world, but we are really together like something new is creating from the relationship. And that means at least for me, I had to open up myself beyond any, any, any boundaries I did have in the past. I've never opened up so much to anyone else. I never had the feeling that 00:19:43.083 --> 00:21:04.875 level of trust, the level of trust. Yeah, that's perfect. So it's, especially after my life experiences and previous relationships and whatever, it was like to even gain my trust had to be extremely hard for you. But the feeling like you're an alien and, and like in my world, there was a unit from, I don't know where it like, how we got together in terms of like in one universe, one, I don't know how it was possible to bring something that's from my perspective, from entirely different world and no, no sides intentions or whatever. Just, just pure what you feel. That's what you said. Like, and so to meet someone who's willing to actually put so much effort to the relationship. And because it's not easy for anyone to open up, I guess for, it wasn't easy for you to- No. To open up. 00:21:08.125 --> 00:22:36.750 Yeah, that was really nice talk. And I think the next time I would like to talk about our creative work. How... because it's something different than the, our personal relationship, when we are working, it's something else. So you mean about the relationship between the creative work and not just describe-? Yes. Yeah, that's perfect. Because yeah, actually, it's for me, it's something that surprised me how, how we can work or how many different roles we can have in one relationship and still like be together. Okay, thank you. Thank you for listening. And I'm really curious if you could write down below in a comment section, if you see and sense things in detail like me, or if you're more high level, because I don't know what's more common. Actually, me neither. Or if you can switch, like choose, like today, I'm going to be high level. I'm really wondering because as this is really significant part of my personal discovery of my, of my wife. Thank you for listening. Have a nice day. Take care. 00:22:36.750 --> 00:22:36.792 [On-screen title: Conversations with Mr & Mrs Marciano; Follow us of the next episode!]